$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just invented taco cereal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
