Do you still have your period?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
