Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

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(417): View more from Missouri

He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.

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(313): View more from Michigan

An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.

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(347): View more from New York

I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”

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