Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize