Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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