Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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