wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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