i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
