Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
