You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
