We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
