i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
