if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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