I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
