just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
