Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
