Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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