Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
