Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
