You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i will never coherently bang her
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
