I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
