They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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