ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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