just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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