She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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