Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
