he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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