she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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