He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
