we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
