now i know why i became what i already was.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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