Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
