What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
