My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
