I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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