i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
