I looked at my own cervix.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
