Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize