I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
