At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize