dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize