You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
