I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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