Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
