The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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