Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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