TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
