i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she smelled like a LAN party
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
