U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
