Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
