he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
