i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
