She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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