Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize