Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
