you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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