what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
