Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
